Well, I know that slice of fandom, I think, being someone who himself believes in the rehetoric, "by women, for women," (and in my corner of femslash fandom, "by women, for women, and about women") and I wouldn't say I was "only tolerated." They do expect me to respect their "female-identified culture" and history, though, and not to try to turn their treehouse into something it isn't.