Absolutely yes. Just -- absolutely. The *difference* I'm seeing is that I have no problem saying to myself -- and to the people in question -- that the things being said *are* bigoted in one way or another, and that they should never be said at all. It doesn't matter that 'that's the way it's always been' if the way it's always been is *wrong*.
Sometimes I think that's true, but not always.
There are, first of all, people I won't correct because it's not my place (like my grandmother, when she was alive--it's ageist to say some people won't change because they're old, but when it's family, sometimes it's also realistic). Also, when I do correct people, it's over a specific phrase or turn of phrase, and when I do it, I say something like "I wish you wouldn't say (x), because it hurts me/hurts (people who are Y, and incidentally that includes people you claim to care about) and here's why." I'm not going to tell them how to talk otherwise--they need to learn to sound like themselves, not like me (after all, I left and moved to California and all that).
At the same time sometimes I look at debates that arise in fandom where someone's been criticised for a particular turn of phrase and I don't actually always agree that they were wrong, because if the person who's offended doesn't know what that phrase actually means, then it may be a complete misunderstanding. (Examples: I thought the people who were using 'miscegenation' as a kink were out of their minds and racist racist racist, even though they didn't mean to be; but I also thought the girl who said 'in a coon's age' had no idea how that would sound outside of places where nobody shortens the word 'raccoon' because they don't have them getting in their garbage all the time--although even in San Francisco I once lived across the street from one, and I had a certain amount of sympathy for her. I've heard that phrase many times and it never occurred to me that anyone who knew it well enough to use it would be referring to a person, although in the area where we grew up we usually said 'in a dog's age' instead--which may be why--I've always understood that in the construction 'in an X's age', X is always nonhuman.)
part 1
Sometimes I think that's true, but not always.
There are, first of all, people I won't correct because it's not my place (like my grandmother, when she was alive--it's ageist to say some people won't change because they're old, but when it's family, sometimes it's also realistic). Also, when I do correct people, it's over a specific phrase or turn of phrase, and when I do it, I say something like "I wish you wouldn't say (x), because it hurts me/hurts (people who are Y, and incidentally that includes people you claim to care about) and here's why." I'm not going to tell them how to talk otherwise--they need to learn to sound like themselves, not like me (after all, I left and moved to California and all that).
At the same time sometimes I look at debates that arise in fandom where someone's been criticised for a particular turn of phrase and I don't actually always agree that they were wrong, because if the person who's offended doesn't know what that phrase actually means, then it may be a complete misunderstanding. (Examples: I thought the people who were using 'miscegenation' as a kink were out of their minds and racist racist racist, even though they didn't mean to be; but I also thought the girl who said 'in a coon's age' had no idea how that would sound outside of places where nobody shortens the word 'raccoon' because they don't have them getting in their garbage all the time--although even in San Francisco I once lived across the street from one, and I had a certain amount of sympathy for her. I've heard that phrase many times and it never occurred to me that anyone who knew it well enough to use it would be referring to a person, although in the area where we grew up we usually said 'in a dog's age' instead--which may be why--I've always understood that in the construction 'in an X's age', X is always nonhuman.)