The older portions of this aren't going to be too heavily edited (although I will surely fix things like the pronoun issue you've pointed out); I've found that this simply isn't a story I'm able to tell anymore. I'm not the same person as the person who wrote it; his voice isn't my voice; and the only way I know to respect his vision is to let his choices remain even when I would do things radically differently today. I will thusly never be able to translate it into anything even approaching a salable form, and I've made peace with that fact. Hopefully it will find itself comfortably at home at the Archive of Our Own.