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70 Questions for Eve
To: watcher007@watcher.gov.uk
From: eve@wolframhart.net
Subject: Re: Questionaire
______________________
1. DO YOU SNORE?
Lindsey never said I did.
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
A lover. I never claimed to be anything more.
3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Dying. How do humans live with it, knowing every day brings it that much closer?
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
I am a creation of the senior partners. Do you really think they gave me Legos?
5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
I don't watch much TV. I used to watch "Law and Order" with Lindsey. Now I also watch "General Hospital" and "Gilmore Girls."
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
No. It would mess up my teeth.
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
Yes. But the demons that raised me never really appreciated it.
8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
Now that my one true love is dead.
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black.
10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Singing makes me think of Lindsey, and then I just break down crying.
11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
No.
12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
Yes. But I don't know what they are, because the Senior Partners locked them away deep in my skull where I can't get to them.
13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
The South of France.
14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
Sure. Why not?
15. CAN YOU SWIM?
I don't know. I never tried it, but the Senior Partners gave me all sorts of various knowledge. I can look good in a swimsuit, though.
16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
The one where the boy turns back time to save the woman he loves, sacrificing his own life in the process? No, never saw it.
17. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
No.
18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP?
I'll have to get back to you on that one.
19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
I can do whatever you want me to do.
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
No.
21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
As I've said, I'm a creation of the Senior Partners. Whether there are others like me, I don't know.
22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
Manual.
23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I'd rather be the hunter than the hunted, but more than either of those options I'd like to just sit the whole thing out.
24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
You just want to dig salt in the would, don't you?
25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
It's very girly. I'm sure the Senior Partners figured that would distract Angel or something.
26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
I could just eat something and that'd be the end. How do you humans deal with it?
27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?
Before Lindsey died.
28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
Yes. He was one of Wolfram and Hart's best clients.
29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
I've never been to a wedding.
30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Sunny-side up.
31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
We just act that way so that you'll underestimate us.
32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
What other sock?
33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
8 pm.
34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
How do you shorten "Eve"?
35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
You think I've ever eaten there? Think again.
36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR, AND WHO WERE YOU WITH?
Angel drove me to Wolfram and Hart when he took me under his protection. Ever since--well, you know--I've had to take the bus.
37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Baths. But showers can be made enjoyable, too.
38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Another one of Wolfram and Hart's best clients.
39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Yes.
40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Well, I am now.
41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Nothing. Why should I be addicted to something.
42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Creamy.
43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
And more.
44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
No.
45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
Twice. Being mortal is such a drain.
46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Druggies exist so non-druggies can take advantage of them. It's a crucial part of the economy.
47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
No.
48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Blue.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
No.
51. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?
My ears are pierced.
52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
No.
53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
The Senior Partners weren't exactly interested in putting me in touch with the classics of American literature. I picked up enough at UC Santa Cruz to be able to hold my own at a cocktail party, but that didn't involve actually reading the books.
54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
No.
55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
I worked for a law firm. Define "steal."
56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
Maybe. Who knows?
57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
Like you'll find me that far from civilization.
58. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
That wouldn't have helped the Senior Partners little plans, now would it have?
59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
I wish I didn't.
60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
No.
61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
Over half of all marriages. Why do people fool themselves into thinking they can create humanity amidst a world full of strife? (But what Lindsey and I had, that was real.)
62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
I think the Senior Partners missed that one.
63. DO YOU MAKE MANY MISTAKES?
I rarely make mistakes. When I do, however, it seems that it ends up a big one.
64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
Bitter.
65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Tuna fish.
66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
I'm a teenage boy's fantasy made flesh. And that includes nail polish. (Why?)
67. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?
Yes. And more.
68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
That one with the bears.
69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
Do you have any idea what my clothing budget was when I worked at Wolfram & Hart? I was able to wear anything that might possibly distract Angel.
70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
Evanescence.
From: eve@wolframhart.net
Subject: Re: Questionaire
______________________
1. DO YOU SNORE?
Lindsey never said I did.
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
A lover. I never claimed to be anything more.
3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Dying. How do humans live with it, knowing every day brings it that much closer?
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
I am a creation of the senior partners. Do you really think they gave me Legos?
5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
I don't watch much TV. I used to watch "Law and Order" with Lindsey. Now I also watch "General Hospital" and "Gilmore Girls."
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
No. It would mess up my teeth.
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
Yes. But the demons that raised me never really appreciated it.
8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
Now that my one true love is dead.
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black.
10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Singing makes me think of Lindsey, and then I just break down crying.
11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
No.
12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
Yes. But I don't know what they are, because the Senior Partners locked them away deep in my skull where I can't get to them.
13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
The South of France.
14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
Sure. Why not?
15. CAN YOU SWIM?
I don't know. I never tried it, but the Senior Partners gave me all sorts of various knowledge. I can look good in a swimsuit, though.
16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
The one where the boy turns back time to save the woman he loves, sacrificing his own life in the process? No, never saw it.
17. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
No.
18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP?
I'll have to get back to you on that one.
19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
I can do whatever you want me to do.
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
No.
21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
As I've said, I'm a creation of the Senior Partners. Whether there are others like me, I don't know.
22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
Manual.
23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I'd rather be the hunter than the hunted, but more than either of those options I'd like to just sit the whole thing out.
24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
You just want to dig salt in the would, don't you?
25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
It's very girly. I'm sure the Senior Partners figured that would distract Angel or something.
26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
I could just eat something and that'd be the end. How do you humans deal with it?
27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?
Before Lindsey died.
28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
Yes. He was one of Wolfram and Hart's best clients.
29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
I've never been to a wedding.
30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Sunny-side up.
31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
We just act that way so that you'll underestimate us.
32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
What other sock?
33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
8 pm.
34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
How do you shorten "Eve"?
35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
You think I've ever eaten there? Think again.
36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR, AND WHO WERE YOU WITH?
Angel drove me to Wolfram and Hart when he took me under his protection. Ever since--well, you know--I've had to take the bus.
37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Baths. But showers can be made enjoyable, too.
38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Another one of Wolfram and Hart's best clients.
39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Yes.
40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Well, I am now.
41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Nothing. Why should I be addicted to something.
42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Creamy.
43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
And more.
44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
No.
45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
Twice. Being mortal is such a drain.
46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Druggies exist so non-druggies can take advantage of them. It's a crucial part of the economy.
47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
No.
48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Blue.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
No.
51. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?
My ears are pierced.
52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
No.
53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
The Senior Partners weren't exactly interested in putting me in touch with the classics of American literature. I picked up enough at UC Santa Cruz to be able to hold my own at a cocktail party, but that didn't involve actually reading the books.
54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
No.
55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
I worked for a law firm. Define "steal."
56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
Maybe. Who knows?
57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
Like you'll find me that far from civilization.
58. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
That wouldn't have helped the Senior Partners little plans, now would it have?
59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
I wish I didn't.
60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
No.
61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
Over half of all marriages. Why do people fool themselves into thinking they can create humanity amidst a world full of strife? (But what Lindsey and I had, that was real.)
62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
I think the Senior Partners missed that one.
63. DO YOU MAKE MANY MISTAKES?
I rarely make mistakes. When I do, however, it seems that it ends up a big one.
64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
Bitter.
65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Tuna fish.
66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
I'm a teenage boy's fantasy made flesh. And that includes nail polish. (Why?)
67. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?
Yes. And more.
68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
That one with the bears.
69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
Do you have any idea what my clothing budget was when I worked at Wolfram & Hart? I was able to wear anything that might possibly distract Angel.
70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
Evanescence.