So on the one hand you're saying that you can't overcome your socialisation in terms of who you're attracted to, but on the other hand you want to overcome other people's socialisation by directly challenging their attitudes to gender roles and stereotypes. Or am I missing something here?

Yes, I think that individuals can do a lot to help or hinder any cause, and yes, I think that it's easier to instill better attitudes in youngsters than it is to get adults to change theirs but I'm still not sure that I can accept the concept of a (heterosexual) male as a radical feminist without instantly thinking of the son-in-law in the Reginald Perrin series from the seventies (which probably just flags up my socialisation), and I really don't want to go there.