Playing with POV

[alixtii]

From a WiP:

When Cameron returns, it's in the truck, with John and there's a large mass in the back covered by a canvas which Riley assumes is the remains of the T-101, to be destroyed later.

Cameron pulls off Riley's shirt and examines the bullet wound, a couple inches to the right of Riley's navel.[Poll #1342612]

Comments

[stormwreath.livejournal.com]

Unless the story is told in the first person, I'm going to assume the POV is as an observer. So the wound would only be over Riley's right hip if the line had been "Cameron pulls off my shirt and examines the bullet wound, a couple inches to the right of my navel."

As for the second; I'm assuming it's you speaking, so you're not getting my clothes. If Cameron was asking, my reply would be different. Heck, if Arnie were asking my reply would also be different, but not for the same reason. :-)

[alixtii.livejournal.com]

The overall scene is Riley's POV (which is why I made sure to include her assuming in the previous sentence), but I almost feel like that in thinking about Cameron examining the wound, she'd describe it from Cameron's perspective, if that makes sense. Even without an observer if I look down at my belly-button I'm tempted to think of "on the right" of it being on my left.

And LOL, your logic is impeccable.

[slashfairy.livejournal.com]

see, as a nurse, i wouldn't describe riley's wound according to MY R or L, but his R or L. it's taught from day one in assessment- it's ALWAYS the patient's POV when describing the body, even if someone else- nurse, doctor, whomever- is doing the describing.

[alixtii.livejournal.com]

I wondered if I need to gloss what I meant by "left hip" and "right hip," but decided that everyone would be on the same page that Riley's left hip would be the one on her left, not Cameron's, just like we'd say with a hand or foot.

But even looking down at my own stomach, when I think "to the left of my navel" I'm sorely tempted to look to my right, putting myself in the place of some hypothetical observer standing opposite of me. And I think the temptation would be compounded if the observer isn't hypothetical, but a flesh-and-metal cyborg standing over Riley and treating her wound. So even the story would still be in Riley's POV, she'd be thinking of what Cameron is seeing.

But honestly I'm not sure where I've put Riley's wound in having written the above sentences, and apparently neither is anyone else; most people seem to think it's on Riley's right (when I wanted to put it, I think, on her left), but the people who disagree make up over a third of respondents (and even more if you count me, as I haven't voted).

[http://users.livejournal.com/peasant_/]

Well I'm clearly brain dead, cos it just took me two readings to realise we are in Riley's POV, so I go with right hip. On first reading I didn't notice the 'Riley assumes' line so I thought we were in Cameron's POV. Of course in a real fic this wouldn't be an issue since POV would have been obvious for ages.