BtVS Ficlet: "True Love" (Amy)

[alixtii]

Amy during "Bewitched, Bewildered, and Bothered." 488 words.

True Love

It’s not real.

She knows this; she’s the one who cast the spell to begin with, after all. She can compare her state of mind today to the one she had yesterday and it’s pretty clear that this massive crush on Xander is the result of a botched spell gone awry. She’s not really in love with him.

But that’s the thing: reality’s mutable with but a quick invocation to the Goddess. She made this happen, and sure she could do undo it, but why bother? Sure, the spell means she’ll have plenty of competition for his attention, but all that means is there is about to be a sudden increase in Sunnydale’s rodent population.

Nor does she necessarily mind sharing in all instances.

“You have no idea what I'm going through,” she tells Mr. Giles. It is pulling at her, threatening to consume her from within, but in some ways it's better. Brownies and loving fathers are one thing, but she’s had a taste of power and now she has an outlet, a purpose. For Catherine Madison, it was to be the best cheerleader, ever; for Amy Madison, it is to win Xander. The purity of it is refreshing, so much better than the listless, directionless life she had been living, turning in imaginary term papers because she couldn’t be bothered to write them herself.

And she’ll accomplish her goal it if she has turn every woman in Sunnydale into a rat. She already took out a Slayer, after all; her mother hadn’t even been able to do that. Goddess Hecate, work thy will.

But Mr. Giles will have none of it. “I know it's not love,” he says, and continues before Amy can contradict him. “It's obsession: selfish, banal obsession. Now Xander has put himself in very great danger. If you cared at all about him, you'd help me save him, rather than twittering on about your feelings. Now, let's get on with some work. Now, Jenny—”

Mr. Giles looks around and the bitch has totally slipped away while Amy had been busy being lectured by the over-arrogant librarian. “Great,” he mutters, and Amy is off to beat Ms. Calendar to Xander.

Except she isn’t; her body totally refuses to move. Because, she realizes with a sinking feeling, while Mr. Giles is completely wrong about whether what she is feeling is love, he is right about Xander being in danger. And because she is in love, she can’t stand by—or run around turning people into rats--and not help Mr. Giles.

So she helps him prepare to assist her in breaking the spell, knowing full well when the counterspell is cast, she’ll go back to being boring, directionless Amy. It’s like that book they read in English last year, when she was still actually doing her homework: It’s a far, far better thing that I do.

For Xander, for true love, she’ll make even that sacrifice.

Comments

[swedish15.livejournal.com]

Hey Alixtii (and no, I haven't forgotten our conversation, but RL has sneaked upon me)!

Do I like this drabble? Yes, because it plays wonderfully with the conceptions of 'real' and 'fake' and with mindcontrol and forced emotions. Loved the realization in the end, that true love isn't possesing, but letting go.

Question re: book, from which is the citation?

Oh, and people ask me why I like Xander/Amy... heh.

Thanks a lot.

[alixtii.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, I really do enjoy Xander/Amy.

The quote is from Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities, slightly paraphrased. (Not that I've ever read it.)

I'm glad the ficlet worked for you!

[alixtii.livejournal.com]

A little more context re: A Tale of Two Cioties. Insofar as I understand it, (SPOILERS follow!) there are two people who look exactly alike and they're both in love with the same woman, but she only loves one of them back, and something happens so that the one she loves is sentenced to death, and the other one loves her so much that he takes the place of the one she loves so that she can be with the man she loves.

[frogfarm]

Remembering your poll that I didn't take cause I was being all lazy and undecided that day, *this* is the character I most associate you with. Because Amy is one of the minor recurring characters in the Buffyverse and the one you seem to utilize most often when you aren't writing the major ones, and everything you write of her shows this understanding and empathy that's not very common, and makes your version of her always fresh and interesting.

[alixtii.livejournal.com]

Oh, that is making so full of squee, because I do really love Amy so very much. We see her, if I'm not mistaken, in every season except Season 5, and when we plot the datapoints we get someone who changes and evolves with certain themes remaining very much consistent. And most of the times we see her (pretty much everytime other than "Seeing Blue") she's richly and deeply characterized, rather than a one-dimensional character.

[r-becca.livejournal.com]

I love this -- especially the way that Amy *knows* it's a spell and goes along anyway, because it's better than the way things were before -- sad and chilling, but very true to life.

[alixtii.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[tinpanalley.livejournal.com]

Really nice! There isn't enough Amy fic in the world!

[alixtii.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I tend to be in agreement.